so that's why my boobs have been sore!

when i looked at the test i wasn't sure what i was seeing. yes, i've taken a few in my lifetime-you pee on the little stick, it comes up negative and you get on with your life. so imagine my surprise to see the plus sign fill in almost immediatly. two more tests said the same-pregnant. after the initial panic subsided i realized that i am quite happy about this little turn of events. it seems destined. by chance i quit smoking two months ago-two weeks before i concieved. i was on the pill but forgot to refill my perscription this month, not knowing that i was already pregnant. things like this have lead me to believe that this was no accident. the wedding will be this fall instead of next spring-i wanted a fall wedding anyway, but compromised for the sake of time. now we have a month and a half to plan, and seven and a half months before we are parents. it all seems so surreal.

R.I.P. small town america

it's the oldest refrain of the new millenium-we americans are spoiled, helpless and impatient. just take a walk around the super walmart that went up where that farm used to be. you know the one. if you live in or near an expanding suburb, you drive by it on your way to work in the morning, and have noticed that traffic is way worse than it used to be. when you peruse the isles you can find some astounding products-a week's worth of chicken salad canned in seven seperate little containers, with seven sets of crackers beside them. now instead of listening to records while chopping up fresh chicken and adding your secret ingredient that makes the whole thing come together, you just pop the can and bob's your uncle-lunch. call me cynical, but i'm f@#%ing sick of it. sick of knowing nothing about the food i eat, where it came from, who prepared it or how it was made. sick of pushing a few buttons on the microwave and waiting impatiently for the alloted 2 1/2 minutes till dinner to pass by. sick of putting my hard earned dollar into the pockets of already too rich corporations like target and walmart, instead of local farmers and small businesses. sick of meat that is full of chemicals, vegetables wrought with pesticides and meals packaged for maximum wastefullness. wake up america and smell the starbucks. we are not invincible. we are not "safe." we have erected our own gallows here and we will reap the consequences of our growing laziness. like ancient rome we have become smug in our power, and it won't be long before we are humbled. we will soon have to learn all over again the things we abandoned for quicker results. we will soon have to take stock of what we still have.
sure, not everyone can move to the country and live off the land. people have jobs and responsibilities. however, there are some small adjustments we could make as communities that would start the cycle of change. one of these things is your local CSA organization. CSA, or community supported agriculture, helps to link the small farmer with the local consumer. i just recently joined up with this group and have been enjoying organic free range chicken, eggs and fresh veggies. i pick up my order weekly and it costs me about $20/wk for 2 people. the beauty of this is that for a flat fee you get more or less produce in a week, depending on what nature provides. there are no pesticides or hormones, and the trade off is that sometimes the bounty is smaller. this allows the small farmer to stay in business the old fashioned way. you can make up for the lesser weeks by freezing or canning in the more plentiful weeks. this can be in addition to your backyard garden, as the array of produce is different each week.
all of this to say lets think folks, lets think about where we are going as a culture. what do we value? what do we produce? how do we communicate? the i want it now mentality can only lead downhill. at least as far as these eyes can see......................

ready for the fall

cycle on, good season
bring me back to fall.
the summer heat is on my head.
no wind or rain
spare a measly reprieve.
i was liberated
when winter brought me into spring
back to warmth
-to color.
now once again the cycle is due.
i long for the crisp smell of rotting leaves,
the ripening of fruit,
the journey into sleep.

wumble in the bwonx

funny, i thought the days of high school were way behind me now-wouldn't expect my car to be sitting in my driveway after a tow truck ride with four slashed tires and a hood sporting "fucck bhs." yes, he spelled fuck with two c's, and yes, he mistook my innocent honda with the car of a high school student.
when we pulled onto the property that rachel rents, a 36 acre expanse with hills, hollows and two ponds, we only wanted to start a bonfire and lay out under the stars. puzzled at first by the fire already raging and the old familiar sounds of an underage party going on, we parked our cars by the back pond and walked up to investigate. turns out that the landlord's daughter had invited some friends to camp out, and her party had grown to twice the size in under an hour. by the time we got there, a fight was about to break out between guys from two rival schools. everyone was told to leave, they refused. they were then forced to leave by the landlord herself who walked down to the festivities and finally got them on their on their way out. after screaming drunk obscenities out the windows of the cars their daddies bought for them, they stopped by mine and rachel's hard earned cars and showed the side of revenge that stupid young kids know best-disrespect.
well at least they ran out of pee after rachel's car-sorry rach.

houses in the fields

yesterday we drove to the farm, where there is almost 200 acres of wild, green hollows and hills. jacob's grandparents bought it many years ago for less than a quarter of what it is worth today. the developers are paying big bucks now for the lush country hills between franklin and leipers fork. after the land owners are payed a handsome sum, the property is torn up and cookie cutter houses are erected. corner pharmacies pop up alongside strip malls. they build and build until they have all the targets, walmarts and eckerds the land can hold. i am reminded of a john gorka song where he sadly sings "developers pay better than the corn, but this is not the place where they were born."
it seems no field or forest is safe. where will we go when our conveniences fail us? what will we do? where will our children play? i can have comfort knowing the farm will never be sold, and our kids will grow up with the magic of nature surrounding them. at least we have the power to do that much.

for shbloggin my noggin

ok, so i'm new to the world of blogs. i want to sound smart and dazzle the world with my stunning wit. somehow though, i have to first become aquainted with a computer newer than the archaic mac sitting on my desk at home. it's so obsolete that i have to post from the pub's computer. so here i go, type a sentence, pour a beer. and so it goes............................